Transformation, Part Two
by hippy of purple
Summary: Philosophy of being a vampire, of Bella being made. R&R.


**Transformation, Part Two**

It was a Tuesday evening, nothing out of the ordinary. Bella and Edward walked along a sidewalk in the park near Bella's home. The wind was blowing in their hair and the sky was overcast. Beautiful weather.

Bella had come to dislike the sunshiny days that came ever so rarely in the rainy weather of western Washington. As a human, they were a gift from the rain gods. Now, she and Edward couldn't show their faces without looking like cocaine addicts, their faces so unnaturally pale and eyes sunken deep into the leathery tough skin devoid of the ever-lovely human blush.

Edward grinned at her, taking her hand. He felt good despite the weather. Everything about the day was perfect. They had so few of those lately, but there would be plenty of time for happiness.

Bella grinned back at him and laughed. "Race you," she smiled and took off. Edward only smiled, watching her. She looked so beautiful, so healthy in the distance. Happy. Deep inside, his selfish heart hoped it was because of him.

Running at her backbreaking pace, invisible to the living, gave Bella a rush. The unfamiliarity and inhumanness of it was exhilarating. She gave out a shriek of delight as she came to a shaky stop at Edward's doorstep. The way her body moved now, with its strength and agility and speed seemed absolutely unreal to Bella. Before, she could hardly walk without falling. Now, it seemed everything she did was full of grace. Except when she forgot her strength and wrecked everything. But that was better now. It had taken months of patience, something she was not known for, to achieve this. But it was done. Bella giggled at the thought of it.

"What's so funny?" Edward had just caught up to her.

Bella shook her head. "Nothing. It's just that I can't believe how far I've come. Bedridden to walks in the park."

He smiled, sharing her pride. Edward kissed her. He was proud of her. She'd worked hard. But not everything had come yet. Like he could read minds, Edward didn't know what Bella could do. And it wasn't predictable. She would find out, and find out hard. It was like a slam against a rock. It just came.

And she was still so young. He'd only made her months before; a year old, she was. In the years of the undead, even he at around two hundred years was but a child. In the eyes of a true immortal, those whose living lives spanned back into millennia, they were babies; and though they were the undead, his and Bella's lives would be but blinks in their unending lives.

And though Bella couldn't detect it, Edward could see the humanity in her; traces of the hot life-blood still remained. He could still smell it, taste it when they kissed. After running or when Bella was excited, her cheeks would be as pink as any living person.

She sat on the swing hinged from the porch, careful not to rock too hard as to break the enforced chains that let the swing hang from the roof.

"Sit," she said in almost a whisper.

Her voice was low and seductive, something that had lacked in her human life, Edward noted silently as he sat next to her, pressing the curves of her body into his.

After a minute of silence, Edward shifted his weight. "What are you thinking?" he murmured in her ear, his breath on her neck.

Bella considered her words a moment then kissed the strong line of his jaw, hoping to capture some of its courage. "About life, what it was like."

Edward laughed. "Have you forgotten already, love?"

Bella shook her head. "Not forgotten, exactly. But there are certain things I miss. Like waking up early and listening to my heart beat. Things like that."

A frightened look came over Edward's face, the one he rarely let Bella see. "And do you…"

"Regret being made?"

He nodded slowly and tightened his hand around hers.

She didn't answer.

"But I didn't want to damn you, Bella. This is an unnatural existence, my love."

"But I didn't want to die. I didn't want to watch you watch me die, fade away slowly every day."

Edward kissed her temple, watched her eyes flutter closed.

She swallowed hard. "No, I don't have any regrets, Edward. I choose this; I didn't want to die. I wanted to be like you. I wanted the impossible."

* * *

Hello everybody. Thanks so much for reading. Obviously, I don't get into Bella's powers in this segment, but I'm doing a three-part thing so that's whats coming up. This one was pretty much philosophical--I just finished Queen of the Damned, so that's where that came from. Buh-bye. 


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